For a very long time I used to think, like anyone else would, that what matters is what we take back from an experience, an opportunity or a situation. Very recently did I realize that, that is not entirely correct. We live our lives in phases. School, then college, then a job, then a PG and finally another job or so... after each phase, we get a chance to rejuvinate ourselves. Learn from the previous phase and be better in the next one.
Every time we move to the next chapter of life, we tend to evaluate the previous one by counting the tangible or intangible takeaways from it. Say, I got my vo wala bestie from my school days, and met that irritating guy at college. How much fun I had at the Sutta hangout and what not!
Looking at it the way I do, how about, we evaluate these phases by what we have left behind? How about we ask the questions the other way round? Who all would actually stick around and consider us their besties? Or how many hate us for the things we did? This is what WE would have left behind.
Most of us, consiously or unconsiously, addmitted or denied, care a little too much about our image and what others around, would think and percieve of us. But this happens only in day to day little tasks. When it comes to the things that matter, this image and concious observation of conduct goes for a ride. This may be due to narrowed outlook or inability to see the larger picture but then this probably is the case most of the times.
In day to day life, everyone tries to 'do the right thing', till the time it does not affect them. Everyone is an amazing judge of right and wrong till the time they are not involved in the situation at hand. The moment they are involved, all the rules of the game change. All of a sudden they go blind to all possible logic. The only right remaining is as they see it and everything else is categorized wrong. But lets not be so harsh, lets just say in everyday life, everyone wants to do the right thing in their own stride. Coming to answering the why... IMAGE!? Everyone wants to be seen as good, rightious and noble.
When we get into a fight and our opponent punches us, we are tempted to punch back! This does not relieve us of the pain but Arey! I had to give it back to him! There were 4 other guys in front of whom he hit me! How dare he?! So, this is just an example of image mantainance. In this case its the guy's ego in question. May be he saves it at that point but if now we ask what he is leaving behind, it would be an arch enemy lookign for another chance to punch him across his egoistic face! In case he would have kept quiet and left the place, probably he would have left behind an ashamed, angry lad, who might have even realised his mistake in time. Appologising and becoming friends would possibly be too far fetched, but anyways.
This was all about how we treat RIGHT. Now lets talk about the WRONGS around us. We, the keepers of moral conduct, the epitomes of nobility, don't really do anything to right any wrongs. Instead we do what smart people should, just keep away. Well, so lets talk about preception again. Who defines the rights and wrong? Who grants us the authority to judge and even give conclusive decisions on anyone and everyone? So may be we are looking at things differently so they appear different to us. What seems wrong might not be the same in another prespective. But who would go ahead and burden oneself to actually explore all possibilities and decipher what is right and wrong, specially when none of this concerns him/her.
Easy way out, stick to what we think is right and act like gentlemen and declare the person in consideration, guilty. Follow the mob and fit in!
Diplomacy is something which would feel left out in all of the above discussion as it feels left out in our daily lives. A, B and C are friends. A and C fight. B has to choose a side! Or B is friendless! Not it doesn't matter who was right and who was wrong. In fact in most of the cases there is no right or wrong! Its just a difference of opinion.
I guess, I have derived what I intended to from this article. I was trying to find an answer to these very thoughts and as I type, I can see the answer. It takes a little bit of maturity and a bit more of courage to stay away from the right and wrong battle.
The point is not choosing the right or the wrong, what matters is how far can you keep situtaions where you would need to justify your right! And even if you can't, stick to what you truely believe in, because somewhere, someone will always consider you wrong. That's just the way the cookie crumbles!
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