Friday, January 6, 2012

Retrospection

It has been ages since I wrote... It has been ages since I did something creative in my personal space... It has been ages I stopped looked back and evaluating myself... It has been high time.

Long ago I wrote in this very blog, my dream, to earn a lakh per month.. It has come true.. I wrote I wanted to buy a car of my own and be independant. Its only a matter of a few more months and it shall be done.

Talking of earlier posts, I also wrote I'd learn from my mistakes and be a better man.  I am not sure if I've done that. I wrote I will be wiser and better in whatever I do. I cannot testify to that either.

May be I should try someting else instead of making promises which I don't keep and things which are too intangible to evaluate.  May be I need to be stronger. May be I need to be more serious about things in life.

As of today, everything is perfect. But then there are things which I would not want to let out. I have realised one thing, we never really value what we have. Even if we have strived for it and worked our asses off for it. Either it falls short of our expectations or it just becomes routine once we have it.

In these past 2 years at IMT, I have made the dearest of friends and lost a few of them as well. I have learned a lot. Uncompareable  amount of experience and maturity squeezed into these two eventful years of my life. But in the end, will I be able to walk out satisfied? Satisfied with the relationships I could manage to have inside this campus? Satisfied by the outputs of my work, may be in the placement committee or in acads or in my own personal life? Satisfied by myself?

Its often said that even if you loose, in the end, what matters is that you tried. I differ in thought. You cant always have an escape with this theory. You fail once, its fate, you fail again, may be bad luck but you cannot fail over and over again. You need to retrospect where you are going wrong. May be your efforts arent well directed or are misdirected may be! 

What remains constant over the years in my stream of thoughts is that NOW is what matters. It doesnt matter how many promises you broke or how many times you led yourself down. What matters is what are you doing about it now? There is always the red pill and the blue pill. You can have a thousand reasons to select the blue one. But only one reason to choose the red. The efforts should be to get yourself together to face that one reason and to make the right choice.

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