Retrospection

It has been ages since I wrote... It has been ages since I did something creative in my personal space... It has been ages I stopped looked back and evaluating myself... It has been high time.

Long ago I wrote in this very blog, my dream, to earn a lakh per month.. It has come true.. I wrote I wanted to buy a car of my own and be independant. Its only a matter of a few more months and it shall be done.

Talking of earlier posts, I also wrote I'd learn from my mistakes and be a better man.  I am not sure if I've done that. I wrote I will be wiser and better in whatever I do. I cannot testify to that either.

May be I should try someting else instead of making promises which I don't keep and things which are too intangible to evaluate.  May be I need to be stronger. May be I need to be more serious about things in life.

As of today, everything is perfect. But then there are things which I would not want to let out. I have realised one thing, we never really value what we have. Even if we have strived for it and worked our asses off for it. Either it falls short of our expectations or it just becomes routine once we have it.

In these past 2 years at IMT, I have made the dearest of friends and lost a few of them as well. I have learned a lot. Uncompareable  amount of experience and maturity squeezed into these two eventful years of my life. But in the end, will I be able to walk out satisfied? Satisfied with the relationships I could manage to have inside this campus? Satisfied by the outputs of my work, may be in the placement committee or in acads or in my own personal life? Satisfied by myself?

Its often said that even if you loose, in the end, what matters is that you tried. I differ in thought. You cant always have an escape with this theory. You fail once, its fate, you fail again, may be bad luck but you cannot fail over and over again. You need to retrospect where you are going wrong. May be your efforts arent well directed or are misdirected may be! 

What remains constant over the years in my stream of thoughts is that NOW is what matters. It doesnt matter how many promises you broke or how many times you led yourself down. What matters is what are you doing about it now? There is always the red pill and the blue pill. You can have a thousand reasons to select the blue one. But only one reason to choose the red. The efforts should be to get yourself together to face that one reason and to make the right choice.

Coercive Persuasion

The term Coercive Persuasion or mind-control refers to a process in which a group or individual systematically uses unethically manipulative methods to persuade others to conform to the wishes of the manipulator.

Well, the level of brutality depicted by the definition makes the term seem way too scary and out-of-bounds than it actually is. If we take out a little time to peep into our own selves, we all find this quality of "manipulation" within. The amounts might differ but we all would be proud owners of this quality. To clear the dust, think of a kid who can hardly speak yet, if he wants something he cries. And if you are observant enough, I am sure you would have noticed the cry is usually just vocal, lacking tears. This doesn't mean he is some super-intelligent mind-player who'd grow to be the next Hitler if not admitted to some really costly school. Its not that the child is not as pure at heart as he should be, its just common observation of the kid that a "cry" attracts more attention. And inherently all humans like attention, conclusions drawn from any infant's behavior.

This was the most basic form of the mind-games that humans play. Yes, we could say ki "Hum ye maa k peet se seekhke aae hai!" But this doesn't really die out here. It goes a long way! A daughter always knows how to act cute and get her dad buy her that huge soft-toy. A boy always knows how to grumble and get that G.I.Joe figure in the toy store. This is a very common behavior and cannot be pronounced wrong because in this case, the parents know that its a act being played by the kid to get his/her wish fulfilled and out of love they do get cowed by it.

The introduction to ugliness in mind-games comes in when a teenager gets into a relationship or may be just has a crush. To portray yourself to be text-book nice, to act like you like what he/she likes is somewhere a method to make the other one believe that "I am the ONE." Things could get ugly in this region but, lets avoid talking about bitching, back biting and gossip! ;)

Its been a very interesting debate as to who is a better manipulator, men or women? Its said that all the lack of muscle power in women is compensated by their skills.I would again prefer to leave this on the imagination and domain knowledge of the one reading this blog to define skills! lolz.. But in no way are men more decent or heavenly! Once a girl is true and genuine, there are a lot of disgusting mind-players out there to break their trust and change them into manipulators like themselves. In corporate offices you'll find a herd of such people irrespective of their gender!

Coercive persuasion is encountered basically in every part of our lives, may it be in our office, at home, within friends, practically everywhere. The magnitude might be different but there is no escape from it.

The game shall be played, you could be a pawn or the player! The choice is yours!

Belief

“For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.”

I decided to write this blog right after reading this quote somewhere on the net. As soon as I read it, I could connect to it. Belief is a impalpable expression of behavior which has been dependent on the understanding and interpretation of the bearer ever since. For a few people, belief is something which gives them mental satisfaction. Like, people believe in spiritual things. A rich, unethical, sinful man donates lumps of money to his worship place or to the priests or to poor just because he believes that doing this would help him escape the consequences of all bad he has done! People believe there exists a supreme being who keeps an account of whatever they do or intend to do in their lives. So they worship this belief, whom they call GOD. Yes, looking at it the way I do, God is just a belief justified by interpretations of phenomenons bent towards the belief.

Belief can be more substantial in terms when it is in oneself. Like if a successful businessman believes that he is going to double the profits of his prospering business, he might do it! Its another form of belief, but I'd say its a better version of the intangible expression because this guy would work hard to achieve what he believes in because his belief is in his work and not some magical, paranormal phenomenon!

Belief can be on someone! Very cliché in movies "I believe in you!" said by the girl to express true love! My dad believes that I will make it big in life! Its what he believes, he has faith in my abilities! I believe that respect holds higher than monetary possessions and that trust and good communication is the foundation of any relationship! Its my opinion. An opinion I believe in.

The question of belief crops up usually for things we cannot measure tangibly. Abilities of people, love, metaphysical stuff, opinions etc.

If we cannot measure any of these things, which we may or may not believe in, how can anyone say that I need time to believe in something or someone? Isn't it ridiculous? Isn't that person just trying to escape by just giving reasons which have no real significance? If I had to believe in ghosts, I would not wait till I find one on the street. If I do not believe in ghosts, I just don't and finding one on the street would rather leave me amazed more than scared! If I don't believe in love means I never have tried it and I don't want to. Unless we give it a thought or a try rather, we can never establish or test our belief. If I say I do not believe in ghosts and piss in my pants if I have to pass a burial ground at 12 in the night, it is just stupid to keep myself in dark about my own beliefs!

We have set prototypes of things in the world around us. And it gives us a sense of control over ourselves or lets put it as a sense of individuality to declare that we are different. But are we? Very few of us actually mean what we say and the rest just think they do. We hear of homosexuals and we commonly say we support them because we understand their feelings and stuff. Imagine your son after a couple of years telling you that he is a gay and doesn't wanna marry. He refuses to bring home a 'bahu', refuses to give you grandchildren. Don't you think it is difficult or different to experience it than just saying it. I again want to mention that there are people who actually are strong enough to stand by what they think is right, but their number is fewer than we imagine.

For all those who still think they do not believe or they do believe in stuff, think again, give it a chance, give yourself a chance! To depict how important your belief can be to someone, I'd end by quoting:

A thief even if he wants, would never become a good man unless someone tells him, "I believe in you that you would not steal again."
Belief like many other expressions is one which withholds a lot of power in it. Power which can drive you and the people around!

"Humara Parivesh!"

"India is not just a place.
India is not just people.
India is the celestial music,
And inside this music
Anybody from any corner of the globe
Can find the real significance of life."

There is something unique about this soil, which despite many obstacles has always remained the abode of great souls. Everyone of us would find pleasure in narrating endlessly, the great historical background, the culture and heritage of our motherland. But this is not exactly what I'd be doing in this blog of mine today. I have seen so many people talking so good abut India, about its natural beauty, about its amazing culture but I still am compelled to think, if they really know what it means to take pride in ones country.

I had a friend of mine, Abhay. I shouldn't call him a friend because he was senior to me by 2 years, but we were quiet close. He was a brilliant student, great in sports, a perfect all rounder! He was determined to be a scientist! A rocket scientist to be precise. A All India topper in English in his 10th CBSE, this guy chose to fly abroad and continue his research there. Ironically he never submitted to the fact that he isn't doing any good to his own country, always said.. "I'll make India proud there!" Today he is in the Cranfield University Space Research Center drawing a heavy pay check, enjoying his work.

I fail to understand that people so brilliant are unable to figure out that contributing to another country's research would NOT bring laurels to India. Or shall I quote it as, they just don't want to admit to it. Abhay is nowhere fallacious, but I, personally wouldn't rate him correct either.

Writing blogs about India doesn't make anyone a patriot. Talking big doesn't either. Adjectives don't require to be said out. They just show by themselves.

But this nowhere means the ones living in India and drawing smaller pay cheque are utter patriots.

I do not know what I'd be doing or where I would be tomorrow... May be I'll become the one I try and mock in this blog now...

We all know a lot about India and its culture and I am sure most of the people reading this space which I have painted in black and white may be in a position to write a lot better article on India. But one thing apart from the culture and the rich heritage in India; which India is known for is Simplicity!

One quality which we have been loosing on constantly over the years. Our bend towards sophistication has been perpetual. We get impressed by people who are smooth talkers and who can carry themselves well. We 'prefer' the company of those who are chichi, funky, kinky and more of these weird sounding adjectives. Its nothing wrong o be all these... but then wearing a synthetic, golden skin over your rough, ugly hull is not exactly what we'd appreciate!

But the real essence of India has come from the villages. Even today its said that the actual India dwells in the villages. Being simple does not mean to be any less smarter than anyone else. Being simple nowhere implies that you are orthodox. Being simple is, not being demonstrative. Being simple is being humble, being modest. A person who can forgive someone without any complaints is simple. If a person can be happy and smile throughout midst all his problems finding happiness is small things around, is simple. The one who does not forget where he has come from, is simple. A person who knows himself and does not pretend to be someone he is not, is simple.

This again does not mean that people who own a audi in their driveways are far from the quality. Simplicity is a characteristic quality. Which can co-exist with success! Ideally it SHOULD be that ways but it doesn't happen. Our self-regard is like a cat who time and again reaches the top of the tree and refuses to come down. Taming the cat is what we are talking about.

TODAY

The Delhi High Court judgment which legalized consensual relations has given rise to a new drift in the already unstable ocean of baffled humans. Some are really happy and positive about the whole thing but a few of us aren’t very pleased! They say that even scientifically speaking, intercourse is a process of reproduction to ensure the continuity of the organism’s species. If this very purpose is not served then consensual relationships have no meaning at all! They should not be encouraged, certainly not by a governing institution like the Delhi High Court. A man was spotted saying -“This culture is not ours. Its driven from the west.” This apparently was a thought which the majority of the opposers shared. Another very strong point put forward was that homosexuals are HIV prone! It’s a proven fact that HIV is detected more often in homosexual couples.

On the other side of the argument stands the crowd who appreciate the open minded attitude of the High Court. They say that consensuality is a matter of personal preferences and no third party has any right to influence or determine any individual’s thoughts. Even the High Court gave its judgment stating that when the constitution says we shall not discriminate on the basis of sex, it also hereby implies sexual orientation. I saw in the news a person shouting from behind his shaded car window –“Oh God! My son will now be a gay!” I wish I could have told him that of-course his son would be a gay now, but not because of the high court judgment but because of his own sexual orientation and preferences.

Our customs and heritage have always served as the carapace to the hypocrites who pretend to be the saviors of our culture. Ethics have been and would continue to be the most frequently given reason to rule out the possibility of very rational changes! What are these ethics? Who defines them? We go on bending them as per our conveniences! When we need to oppose a broadly open thought we use them... When we have to justify ourselves we use them! But do we really understand what ethics are? To let the freedom of thought prevail, is ethics! To let awareness be spread is ethics. To let everyone earn their bread peacefully is ethics. A very famous author once said “your nose ends where mine begins”. I personally find it very relevant to our issue of consentuality!

We are a nation of different religions. And most of our religions do not permit consensual relations. In Islam it’s a gunah. Not to mention that even drinking and smoking is gunah as per Islam. So do we go out appealing to the court to penalize drinking and smoking too? What happens to our ethnic consciousness when a young girl is burnt alive in a village for dowry? Ethics are thrown out of the window when an adolescent is gang raped in a residential area. Ethics are molested everyday around us and we sit at homes sipping tea cribbing about violence and injustice.

Think what you would do if you come across a terrorist some day at the time of national unrest. If you have the gun and he is empty handed? If you know he has killed thousands of people? Would you pull the trigger? May be you would… to save yourself. I might. I am not sure, but yes! I might. But I’d ask what would be the thing which would have made him turn into a terrorist? Is it really his fault the way he appears to us today? Is he actually a threat or are we a threat ourselves? If a man offers a piece of break to a hungry orphan he is god for that kid! The child would do whatever this man tells him to. Even if he hands him a gun instead of a pen… the kid would not oppose. One, because he is not mature enough to understand. Two, because he trusts this terrorist. This is how 70% of all terrorists are made. Is it really their fault?

Think of those people who come and break shops on New Years’ eve and on Valentine’s day. Aren’t they terrorists? NO!! THEY DO IT FOR OUR CULTURE! If this is how we define and bend our definitions, I’d say HAIL OSAMA BIN LADEN! Because whatever he did was because he had cent percent conviction in it and he did it for jihad… his way of freedom… freedom to his own ways of living… his culture!

Today we live amongst hypocrites who live inside their cocoons of false self-regard and take pseudo pride in their ‘ethnic’ believes. Its not about terrorism or consensual issues. Its about us and our surroundings. When we wake up in the morning can we face ourselves and say that we are up to do the RIGHT THING? Ironically the answer everyone would give would be a YES… as we tend to define our own RIGHTS and WRONGS… bend definitions at our convenience and at the end of it all.. justify our stands.