Bidding adieu to the past year is a unavoidable tradition which is dependent on how prepared are we to welcome the future. Some of us just have fun and let it pass, some take pledges and try and stick to them in the coming year, and there are some who look back, take decisions and prepare themselves for a better future.
I wish to try the latter for a change. All these years I was the one who just had fun and let time pass without really thinking too much about 'changing' or 'self evaluation' or any other boring adjective present in the English dictionary. But 2009 has been a very unique experience. Saw a lot of new things, tried a lot of stuff, had fun, had my sad moments, I laughed as hard as I never did and I have cried my heart out at times. I dont think my life ever saw so many different emotions in any previous years.
So before I move on, I would like to thank everyone around me for they have helped me shape myself, thank everyone who have influenced me. Our personality is not decided by our sun-signs! Its our experiences and the kind of decisions we make which define us. So, all the people around me who have directly or indirectly given me shape for me being the person I am today, I sincerely thank everyone. I hereby intend to forgive everyone whom I was angry/unhappy/disappointed with and move on. In the end I would say I'd do the most difficult thing a person can do, I forgive myself.
I forgive myself for all the wrongs I've done in the past year. I forgive myself for being a jerk at times. I forgive myself to think senseless stuff and acting immature. I forgive myself for not forgiving people I should have. I forgive myself for trying to be someone I am not. And I promise myself that I would grow from this point on, to be a better man.
Love...
Monday, January 4, 2010
Sunday, December 27, 2009
How stupid can people get
1. I am super pissed right now. At myself and at a few people around me.
2. I don't like the fact that I cannot undo what is already done.
3. I don't like it that it would be named "interfering" unless I am asked for advice or help and the fact that I wasn't.
4. I don't belive how stupid people can get!
5. I dont wish to write anymore.
2. I don't like the fact that I cannot undo what is already done.
3. I don't like it that it would be named "interfering" unless I am asked for advice or help and the fact that I wasn't.
4. I don't belive how stupid people can get!
5. I dont wish to write anymore.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I wish
I wish I wouldn't let you hurt me as much as you do,
I wish I knew what your actions point to.
I wish I could analyze you better, before being nice to you,
I wish your words would parellel to what you do.
I wish I was a tree,
emotionless, giving away whatever I had, with no regret,
I wish I never felt the way I do,
for someone who didn't deserve it? I wish I could escape all the fret!
I wish I knew if it was me who was wrong,
Or was it you who wasn't strong?
I wish I knew who is more confused,
Because at the end, I am the one who feels abused.
I wish I could withdraw,
I wish I wouldn't have seen you the way I saw.
I wish someday you value people a little more,
Some day you would become what I believed you were.
I wish I knew what your actions point to.
I wish I could analyze you better, before being nice to you,
I wish your words would parellel to what you do.
I wish I was a tree,
emotionless, giving away whatever I had, with no regret,
I wish I never felt the way I do,
for someone who didn't deserve it? I wish I could escape all the fret!
I wish I knew if it was me who was wrong,
Or was it you who wasn't strong?
I wish I knew who is more confused,
Because at the end, I am the one who feels abused.
I wish I could withdraw,
I wish I wouldn't have seen you the way I saw.
I wish someday you value people a little more,
Some day you would become what I believed you were.
Monday, December 14, 2009
TODAY
I started this blog in July after reading one of my friend's and getting inspired by it! Today I realize that looking at my posts I can actually see which months in the year were the most eventful for me! lolz.. Like September! I wrote 4 posts in it! :)
I dont simply write a post! I write it when I want to share something with my blog. My blog is like my buddy who understands me and knows me better than anyone else. And my life is eventful enough that I manage a post every month! So, thats good news! :D
Someone told me once, "Unplanned events carry an element of surprise and excitement and surprisingly are more successful than the contrary!" Well, how true! When we plan we by convention take a lot of parameters for granted, increasing the possibility of our plans to CHANGE! On the other hand, spontaneity brings an unfamiliar joy! A sense of excitement, which at times is necessary! And there is this other kind of surprise, which is not so pleasant. And this is the most difficult to deal with.
I was a little upset a few days back cause someone gave me very bluntly a reason as to why watching a movie with me could be embarrassing! Being the movie lover I am, it was quiet a setback! lolz.. And as a butterfly effect, a lot of things around me seemed shady to me. In fact I actually planned a few quick movies to boost my moral! :)
There are things we never expect would come our way and so, when they do, we don't really know how to react to them. The first and the most common reaction is to deny the possibility of the happening, that is we question its existence altogether. "Really??........ mmm.... I dont think so!!" Which definitely doesn't work. Second, we try to make up for it. Its always better to move to the second activity directly but then we cannot be expected to behave THAT sensible! Noone can. If you are thinking you are able enough to, then, :P :P :P to you! lolz..
Its said that "change is pre-requisite for growth", well I'd say, " Change itself, is a part of growth." And so I dont see any harm in changing myself with time and bending myself to the personality I actually want myself to carry.
Well this month is turning out to be eventful alright! But I hope the series of events don't get ugly by the end of the year! :)
I dont simply write a post! I write it when I want to share something with my blog. My blog is like my buddy who understands me and knows me better than anyone else. And my life is eventful enough that I manage a post every month! So, thats good news! :D
Someone told me once, "Unplanned events carry an element of surprise and excitement and surprisingly are more successful than the contrary!" Well, how true! When we plan we by convention take a lot of parameters for granted, increasing the possibility of our plans to CHANGE! On the other hand, spontaneity brings an unfamiliar joy! A sense of excitement, which at times is necessary! And there is this other kind of surprise, which is not so pleasant. And this is the most difficult to deal with.
I was a little upset a few days back cause someone gave me very bluntly a reason as to why watching a movie with me could be embarrassing! Being the movie lover I am, it was quiet a setback! lolz.. And as a butterfly effect, a lot of things around me seemed shady to me. In fact I actually planned a few quick movies to boost my moral! :)
There are things we never expect would come our way and so, when they do, we don't really know how to react to them. The first and the most common reaction is to deny the possibility of the happening, that is we question its existence altogether. "Really??........ mmm.... I dont think so!!" Which definitely doesn't work. Second, we try to make up for it. Its always better to move to the second activity directly but then we cannot be expected to behave THAT sensible! Noone can. If you are thinking you are able enough to, then, :P :P :P to you! lolz..
Its said that "change is pre-requisite for growth", well I'd say, " Change itself, is a part of growth." And so I dont see any harm in changing myself with time and bending myself to the personality I actually want myself to carry.
Well this month is turning out to be eventful alright! But I hope the series of events don't get ugly by the end of the year! :)
Yeahhh... I wanna end the year like this.... happily... SCOOOBYYYY DOOOBYYY DOOOOOO!!!! :)
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Half short double-Reloaded!
First things first, I really like this title-"Half Short Double" and I have my own reasons of liking it. One, its originally mine! Two, I used it in a post which I wrote when I was really low and I felt better after writing it. Three, I couldnt have been better in choosing this title.(why?? Its TOP SECRET).
"Today" I am using this title again cause once more history repeated itself and I stand at a crossing similar to one I stood at then. The circumstances aren't really the same but they do remind me of past events. As tradition.. I choose the title of my blogs as the state of my mind at that point. The blog may or may not reveal the whats and whys about the title. :) But this blog was worthy of a slight hint fot its title.
Anyways, I have a lot in my tiny little head as usual. I have given CAT, the grand daddy of all MBA entrances. It went pretty decent. Apart from a few things I wish I shouldnt have done in those 2 hours, I think everything went decently well. And by far I haven't been thinking of the kind of score I might get. 22nd Jan is the big day! And I voulentarily will behave unperturbed till it arrives. For now, I have other exams to look forward to.
JMET is tomorrow. MBA in IITs! I am not really sure about it cause IIT prefers work ex people. But I am still giving it a try. Next in line are SNAP(Simbiosys), XAT(Xaviers') and NMAT(Narseemonji, Mumbai).
Apart from exams and MBA my head also carries a little something about AIESEC. My co-Aiesecers are having their LC Day right now. I am still a little unsure as to if I should go there tomorrow after my exam. Most probably I won't and I know later I'll hear a lot of "U missed it" and "U should have come".. but its ok.. I have my own stupid set of reasons to refrain from it.
A new development in me is that I have somehow learnt to be a little rude! Its surprising and I am not happy happy about it but I've managed to find a few instances when I was kinda rude! I have always believed that a little of everything is really important to be complete. Like a little-one would never understand why its wrong to not try and play with the candle-fire unless he burns his finger. The point is, its important to try out everything and then you would find yourself on a better platform to analyze and decide as what you are and what you want to be!
There are times in life when you are afraid of facing situations or rather you wish that that situation would never arise, but it does. Then is the time you take a decision to face it or turn your back on it. I have never turned my back on any situation as of yet and I don't intend to either. But there certainly are situations which I too wish would never arise. Its ironical that the things bound to happen are sometimes so scary! Like the 22nd of Jan! Like 2012! [:P] And the "something" to which this para is dedicated to. I don't know what I would do when I reach that point on the timeline which is moving fast and not showing any signs of mercy.
Name: Dhruv Mathur
Age: 20
Status: Single
State of mind: Uncertain
FIN.
"Today" I am using this title again cause once more history repeated itself and I stand at a crossing similar to one I stood at then. The circumstances aren't really the same but they do remind me of past events. As tradition.. I choose the title of my blogs as the state of my mind at that point. The blog may or may not reveal the whats and whys about the title. :) But this blog was worthy of a slight hint fot its title.
Anyways, I have a lot in my tiny little head as usual. I have given CAT, the grand daddy of all MBA entrances. It went pretty decent. Apart from a few things I wish I shouldnt have done in those 2 hours, I think everything went decently well. And by far I haven't been thinking of the kind of score I might get. 22nd Jan is the big day! And I voulentarily will behave unperturbed till it arrives. For now, I have other exams to look forward to.
JMET is tomorrow. MBA in IITs! I am not really sure about it cause IIT prefers work ex people. But I am still giving it a try. Next in line are SNAP(Simbiosys), XAT(Xaviers') and NMAT(Narseemonji, Mumbai).
Apart from exams and MBA my head also carries a little something about AIESEC. My co-Aiesecers are having their LC Day right now. I am still a little unsure as to if I should go there tomorrow after my exam. Most probably I won't and I know later I'll hear a lot of "U missed it" and "U should have come".. but its ok.. I have my own stupid set of reasons to refrain from it.
A new development in me is that I have somehow learnt to be a little rude! Its surprising and I am not happy happy about it but I've managed to find a few instances when I was kinda rude! I have always believed that a little of everything is really important to be complete. Like a little-one would never understand why its wrong to not try and play with the candle-fire unless he burns his finger. The point is, its important to try out everything and then you would find yourself on a better platform to analyze and decide as what you are and what you want to be!
There are times in life when you are afraid of facing situations or rather you wish that that situation would never arise, but it does. Then is the time you take a decision to face it or turn your back on it. I have never turned my back on any situation as of yet and I don't intend to either. But there certainly are situations which I too wish would never arise. Its ironical that the things bound to happen are sometimes so scary! Like the 22nd of Jan! Like 2012! [:P] And the "something" to which this para is dedicated to. I don't know what I would do when I reach that point on the timeline which is moving fast and not showing any signs of mercy.
Name: Dhruv Mathur
Age: 20
Status: Single
State of mind: Uncertain
FIN.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Belief
“For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.”
I decided to write this blog right after reading this quote somewhere on the net. As soon as I read it, I could connect to it. Belief is a impalpable expression of behavior which has been dependent on the understanding and interpretation of the bearer ever since. For a few people, belief is something which gives them mental satisfaction. Like, people believe in spiritual things. A rich, unethical, sinful man donates lumps of money to his worship place or to the priests or to poor just because he believes that doing this would help him escape the consequences of all bad he has done! People believe there exists a supreme being who keeps an account of whatever they do or intend to do in their lives. So they worship this belief, whom they call GOD. Yes, looking at it the way I do, God is just a belief justified by interpretations of phenomenons bent towards the belief.
Belief can be more substantial in terms when it is in oneself. Like if a successful businessman believes that he is going to double the profits of his prospering business, he might do it! Its another form of belief, but I'd say its a better version of the intangible expression because this guy would work hard to achieve what he believes in because his belief is in his work and not some magical, paranormal phenomenon!
Belief can be on someone! Very cliché in movies "I believe in you!" said by the girl to express true love! My dad believes that I will make it big in life! Its what he believes, he has faith in my abilities! I believe that respect holds higher than monetary possessions and that trust and good communication is the foundation of any relationship! Its my opinion. An opinion I believe in.
The question of belief crops up usually for things we cannot measure tangibly. Abilities of people, love, metaphysical stuff, opinions etc.
If we cannot measure any of these things, which we may or may not believe in, how can anyone say that I need time to believe in something or someone? Isn't it ridiculous? Isn't that person just trying to escape by just giving reasons which have no real significance? If I had to believe in ghosts, I would not wait till I find one on the street. If I do not believe in ghosts, I just don't and finding one on the street would rather leave me amazed more than scared! If I don't believe in love means I never have tried it and I don't want to. Unless we give it a thought or a try rather, we can never establish or test our belief. If I say I do not believe in ghosts and piss in my pants if I have to pass a burial ground at 12 in the night, it is just stupid to keep myself in dark about my own beliefs!
We have set prototypes of things in the world around us. And it gives us a sense of control over ourselves or lets put it as a sense of individuality to declare that we are different. But are we? Very few of us actually mean what we say and the rest just think they do. We hear of homosexuals and we commonly say we support them because we understand their feelings and stuff. Imagine your son after a couple of years telling you that he is a gay and doesn't wanna marry. He refuses to bring home a 'bahu', refuses to give you grandchildren. Don't you think it is difficult or different to experience it than just saying it. I again want to mention that there are people who actually are strong enough to stand by what they think is right, but their number is fewer than we imagine.
For all those who still think they do not believe or they do believe in stuff, think again, give it a chance, give yourself a chance! To depict how important your belief can be to someone, I'd end by quoting:
A thief even if he wants, would never become a good man unless someone tells him, "I believe in you that you would not steal again."
Belief like many other expressions is one which withholds a lot of power in it. Power which can drive you and the people around!
I decided to write this blog right after reading this quote somewhere on the net. As soon as I read it, I could connect to it. Belief is a impalpable expression of behavior which has been dependent on the understanding and interpretation of the bearer ever since. For a few people, belief is something which gives them mental satisfaction. Like, people believe in spiritual things. A rich, unethical, sinful man donates lumps of money to his worship place or to the priests or to poor just because he believes that doing this would help him escape the consequences of all bad he has done! People believe there exists a supreme being who keeps an account of whatever they do or intend to do in their lives. So they worship this belief, whom they call GOD. Yes, looking at it the way I do, God is just a belief justified by interpretations of phenomenons bent towards the belief.
Belief can be more substantial in terms when it is in oneself. Like if a successful businessman believes that he is going to double the profits of his prospering business, he might do it! Its another form of belief, but I'd say its a better version of the intangible expression because this guy would work hard to achieve what he believes in because his belief is in his work and not some magical, paranormal phenomenon!
Belief can be on someone! Very cliché in movies "I believe in you!" said by the girl to express true love! My dad believes that I will make it big in life! Its what he believes, he has faith in my abilities! I believe that respect holds higher than monetary possessions and that trust and good communication is the foundation of any relationship! Its my opinion. An opinion I believe in.
The question of belief crops up usually for things we cannot measure tangibly. Abilities of people, love, metaphysical stuff, opinions etc.
If we cannot measure any of these things, which we may or may not believe in, how can anyone say that I need time to believe in something or someone? Isn't it ridiculous? Isn't that person just trying to escape by just giving reasons which have no real significance? If I had to believe in ghosts, I would not wait till I find one on the street. If I do not believe in ghosts, I just don't and finding one on the street would rather leave me amazed more than scared! If I don't believe in love means I never have tried it and I don't want to. Unless we give it a thought or a try rather, we can never establish or test our belief. If I say I do not believe in ghosts and piss in my pants if I have to pass a burial ground at 12 in the night, it is just stupid to keep myself in dark about my own beliefs!
We have set prototypes of things in the world around us. And it gives us a sense of control over ourselves or lets put it as a sense of individuality to declare that we are different. But are we? Very few of us actually mean what we say and the rest just think they do. We hear of homosexuals and we commonly say we support them because we understand their feelings and stuff. Imagine your son after a couple of years telling you that he is a gay and doesn't wanna marry. He refuses to bring home a 'bahu', refuses to give you grandchildren. Don't you think it is difficult or different to experience it than just saying it. I again want to mention that there are people who actually are strong enough to stand by what they think is right, but their number is fewer than we imagine.
For all those who still think they do not believe or they do believe in stuff, think again, give it a chance, give yourself a chance! To depict how important your belief can be to someone, I'd end by quoting:
A thief even if he wants, would never become a good man unless someone tells him, "I believe in you that you would not steal again."
Belief like many other expressions is one which withholds a lot of power in it. Power which can drive you and the people around!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
MANGO DOLLY
Well, I haven't written since long now! I missed you blog! :D
Anyways, a lot has happened since my last post. I went to a crazy conference where i found that people i thought were just friends turned out to be more than that :) a few unknowns added to my friend-o-meter! :) I tried a lot of new stuff too! I drank! :) Like really!! But it was worth the celebration!
NOTE: I have moved to the next paragraph after the drunken line cause I dont really remember what I did after i got drunk :P. Anyways, I do remember that after returning from the conference I had to get back to studying! It sounded scary! But i somehow did.. hmm... yeah.. I did! :)
My 2 lab internals are over now and they both were KHILLER!! I have my written intenals still to go... I'll manage somehow :P
Anyways, I even found time to watch a couple of movies!! And they WERE nice! :) BALLUUU and ALL THE BEST were the two. The movies were decent but I really have to say.. Sanju baba... jogging karoo!! :P and Fardeen baba... Kuch to karoo!! lolz...
I've grown to be this really chilled out guy somehow! No tension, no chick chick types! I have my IRMA exam on the 8th of Nov which is a MBA entrance test for a Rural Management institute. I have no idea what to prepare and from where to! But for the chilled out guy that i have become, I have no tension! :P
Apart from all this, there is some still newer stuff going on in life! Nice stuff! :) I THE LIKES TYPES!!
And i am so happy that because of me a very good friend of mine has started to blog actively!! :) It feels so nice to see that even I can be a source of inspiration! HEHEHE!
At last i'd like to end this random bolg by quoting....
Anyways, a lot has happened since my last post. I went to a crazy conference where i found that people i thought were just friends turned out to be more than that :) a few unknowns added to my friend-o-meter! :) I tried a lot of new stuff too! I drank! :) Like really!! But it was worth the celebration!
NOTE: I have moved to the next paragraph after the drunken line cause I dont really remember what I did after i got drunk :P. Anyways, I do remember that after returning from the conference I had to get back to studying! It sounded scary! But i somehow did.. hmm... yeah.. I did! :)
My 2 lab internals are over now and they both were KHILLER!! I have my written intenals still to go... I'll manage somehow :P
Anyways, I even found time to watch a couple of movies!! And they WERE nice! :) BALLUUU and ALL THE BEST were the two. The movies were decent but I really have to say.. Sanju baba... jogging karoo!! :P and Fardeen baba... Kuch to karoo!! lolz...
I've grown to be this really chilled out guy somehow! No tension, no chick chick types! I have my IRMA exam on the 8th of Nov which is a MBA entrance test for a Rural Management institute. I have no idea what to prepare and from where to! But for the chilled out guy that i have become, I have no tension! :P
Apart from all this, there is some still newer stuff going on in life! Nice stuff! :) I THE LIKES TYPES!!
And i am so happy that because of me a very good friend of mine has started to blog actively!! :) It feels so nice to see that even I can be a source of inspiration! HEHEHE!
At last i'd like to end this random bolg by quoting....
"bak bak hai aapki sun li, kis khet ki aap hai muli tedhe sawaalon ke hai tedhe jawaab miyaan na bibi raaji phir bhi lage hain kaaji itne asamanjas mein hai kyun janaab??" :D
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